By Alex Aubuchon

Losing a loved one is never easy under any circumstances and during a pandemic is no different.

The pain lingers and the sadness is bountiful as it always has been, but something is different about this pain, there is something new in this sadness.

During a time of great loss you want to come together with those you care about most and mourn with them, comfort them and, in-turn, have those feelings reciprocated to you.

Although it may hurt like hell, you’ve got your family and friends around you to help you get through the pain and fill the gaping hole that was left behind.

During this time of self-isolation you are not afforded those luxuries. You have to come to terms with the situation and deal with it yourself.

Dealing with anything alone is always rather daunting, but dealing with something of this magnitude by yourself is excruciating.

You never get the chance to say goodbye to the one you lost. You never get one last chance to see them or tell them how much they mean’t to you. They’re simply gone and it’s a cold hard fact that you have to come to terms with.

When loss is present, we come together as one to cope with it. There is comfort in knowing that someone else is there with you to bear the sorrow. You can give in to your emotions and after an appropriate amount of time, come to terms with the situation as a family.

When you can’t spend time and mourn with those that you love after you’ve lost someone that you love the pain stays with you. It has nowhere to go.

No funeral, no gathering, no nothing. Almost as if it didn’t happen at all. As hard as you try to believe just that, your mind won’t let you.

So you bear that weight as it doubles over itself as time goes on. You try to hold it in and keep your emotions in check as the days pass knowing that any day could be the day you lose your composure.

It’s not fair, but as you’ve been taught so many times before, neither is life.

So here you are, it’s already been a month that’s felt like a year with no solace, no comfort.

Where do you go from here?

That’s the thing, there’s nowhere to go. You’re not only stuck captive in you’re house, you’re a prisoner of your own mind.

You lay awake at night unable to fall asleep praying that one day soon you will find a peace that seems to never come.